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New Seasons in Life

September 14, 2009
seasonsPhoto by KelvinWong

Every once in a while, there comes a moment when you recognize a change. Sometimes it’s gradual, and you can feel the ‘in-between’ of transition, like the change of the seasons. Other times it’s instant, taking place in the space of a day or even a few minutes. A moment when you know that life as you know it has changed and will stay changed forever, whether  in external circumstances, or in yourself.

I had one of those moments today. Something in me changed, and since then, I’ve felt all day as though it were a beginning of a new chapter for me, even in the middle of the bigger transition that I’m already part of. I know that God is leading me, guiding me in the paths He has for me, and I’m learning to have faith and TRUST Him, wherever He chooses to lead, even when I’m not sure if He is leading me or not. That seems to be the big lesson He’s teaching me right now; I’ve been hearing/seeing/reading it everywhere I go: TRUST IN HIM, with everything, even when I’m scared that He’ll take me somewhere I don’t want to go, even when He seems silent and I think I’m on my own. I need to release all my fears and need to control things, because honestly, He can do a far better job than I can; He’s shown me so many times how trustworthy He is, and yet, in my ridiculous human-fashion, I still go back to being scared and ‘grabbing’ the control of my future back. But He is always faithful and reminds me that I can trust Him, and to give my future back to Him. I’m far from finished, but I’m getting there.

I know I’m in the transition from one major chapter in my life to another. I’m not sure exactly what that other holds yet, but I know that God is taking care of it. He’ll lead me the right way, and on the other side, I know I’ll look back and laugh at my worries and fears, because they are so unnecessary! Of course, being human, I won’t remember that until I’m on the other side, but maybe writing it down will help remind me and alleviate unnecessary, self-made pain.

It’s a funny feeling, being in two different chapter changes at the same time; maybe that’s what lent today such an atmospheric feel of twilight zone. A new chapter within myself began almost in minutes, right in the middle of a bigger season-transition of my life. Everything feels so different and unfamiliar, but I know that feeling will soon die down as time acclimates changes to become normal.

Right now, I honestly cannot see what’s going to happen or what I’m going to do after Christmas. That will be my next big chapter-change to look forward to. But you know what? I’m learning to be okay with that. I’m learning to look on it as an adventure. I’m learning to ask, “So, God, what comes next in this story You’re writing? What new things are You preparing and bringing my way?” Because that’s really what it is: the story He’s writing for me, an incredible adventure of my own that’s completely unpredictable – but I know I’ll be alright as long as I’m holding onto Him. He’s promised me that He’ll always be with me; He will never leave.

“Safe? ‘course He isn’t safe! But He’s good – He’s the King, I tell ya!”

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. September 14, 2009 1:42 pm

    First, your blog is lovely.

    I’m also trying to learn to give God my future and trust him. I am thankful for his patience and grace.
    Thanks for sharing. 🙂

    • October 14, 2009 5:50 pm

      Thank you for commenting! 🙂
      Yes. His patience and grace are such great gifts… I’m only starting to realize how great.
      God bless!

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