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Writing Advice

July 22, 2009
powerofwordsPhoto by Paula

I found this over at Olde-Fashioned and found it rather amusing. I think you writers will too. 🙂


Rules For Writers

Verbs has to agree with their subjects.

Prepositions are not to end sentences with.

And don`t start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They`re old hat.)

Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) irrelevant.

Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

No sentence fragments.

Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it is highly superfluous.

Contractions aren`t necessary and shouldn`t be used.

One should never generalise.

Don`t use no double negatives.

One word sentences? Eliminate.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations etc.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary.

Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

Kill all exclamation marks!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Use the apostrophe in it`s proper place and omit it when its not needed.

Puns are for children and not groan adults.

If you`ve heard it once, you`ve heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it.

Make sure all of your work is correctly punctuated”

Proof read carefully to see if you any words out.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. chadoates permalink
    July 22, 2009 8:43 pm

    Haha, very entertaining! Props!

  2. Lori Miller permalink
    July 26, 2009 3:23 pm

    This was very funny and very well done.

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